Thailand (Krabi, Bangkok, Pattaya, Cha'am)
September 12 – October 12, 2009
(map)
As I approached the fishbowl from a distance, I could make out dozens of dozy eyes lazily gazing without a glimmer of interest. As I passed into their threshold of attention, the fishbowl stirred into a frenzy of activity aware of their survival. Eyes suddenly broke loose from their previously placid preoccupations and darted in my direction. Teeth and lips puffed into proud displays of colour and fullness; spines snapped erect as confident display of breasts were thrust forth. This was a candy shop not for children, but for adult tourists who selected their pleasures by the numbers pinned to the girl’s shirts. This was my first entrance into a brothel, and I felt extremely conspicuous in every way possible.
Let’s back up a few days… My friend Tina, who I’d met previously in Vietnam, is a busy tour guide in notorious Pattaya. I joined her current assignment of babysitting 150 Indian medical doctors on a dubiously dubbed 5-day ‘medical conference’. Aside from the single 1-hour meeting, the closest their holiday got to being medical were the massage parlour gynaecological examinations… or the examinations required as a direct result of the massages.
I was immersed in a bobble-headed bollywood extravaganza. We moved as a horde of locusts, whisked from one tourist trap to the next, where professional grown men rivalled 5 year old children in terms of restlessness and helplessness. We turned 7/11s upside down as the Indians cleared the shelves of every gimmick, gadget, and sweetie in hour-long frenzies. Cabaret ladyboys had to fend off swaths of Indians unaccustomed to allowing personal space, and big brown bellies were bared at the beaches, highlighting the doctor’s shocking ignorance of balancing exercise and caloric intake. It all made me very unconvinced of the caste system’s ability to turn out competent individuals.
But for all the Indian’s clumsiness and general ineptitude, they made up for it with heaps of enthusiasm, friendliness, and a complete lack of shyness. At the signal of syncopated clangs of Indian instruments, the snake-charmed Indians arms immediately rose above their heads as legs and butts began to quiver in every direction possible to Punjabi pulse. The need for girls had completely dissipated, as this room full of men gyrated with each other in rhythmic bliss, each displaying their rehearsed routines and eager to teach anyone that wanted to learn… or not.
With expired babysitting patience, and an expiring Thai visa, I had to make a mad dash to the border consisting of 3 hour bus ride, 30 minute taxi, 3 hour wait, 14 hour overnight train ride (without a reclining seat), 2 hour wait, 5 hour busride… and I missed the border by 5 minutes. The next morning, after signing some papers possibly admitting my criminal guilt, I waited another 2.5 hours before taking the 2 day slow boat ride destined for Luang Prabang, Laos, where I would stay much, much longer than expected.
KSR, Bangkok, Thailand. After spending some beautiful relaxing days with Hannah down at my favorite beach (Ton Sai), we were (likely) gassed and pickpocketed on the VIP bus back to Khaosan Road. Hannah lost money, and I lost my visa card. It was very strange since we woke up very very groggy and didn't notice that anything happened.
Ton Sai Beach, Krabi, Thailand. Apple, my favorite massage person in Thailand! She's amazing at massage, and a little bit of chocolate usually guarantees me extra massage time!
Pattaya, Thailand. Most of the Indian doctors on the tour... it is impossible to actually keep all of them together at any given time, since their attention span is typical of a common fruit fly.
Pattaya, Thailand. My friend Tina who I'd previously met in Vietnam. On the Indian tours she is called Priya, meaning 'beloved' in Hindi.
Pattaya, Thailand. I got to see all sorts of things for free while working on the tour... These aggressive cabaret ladyboys apparently wanted me to comment on the quality of their surgeons.
Pattaya, Thailand. Parasailing is something that I said I would never actually pay for, as it is intended for ridiculous tourists. Admittedly, it was kinda fun, although not such a rush as paragliding or kiting. Tina didn't give me much of a choice, and before I knew it I was bound, harnessed, up in the air, then being dunked in the water for 10 minutes...
Cha'am, Thailand. Also through a friend in Vietnam, I met Tia who owned a small bar in Cha'am, and her crazy coworker Fay.
Cha'am, Thailand. These girls were really good-spirited and a whole lot of fun to hang out with!
